I have left the Infantry, that bastion of wonderful crazy bastards. They are the best America has to offer. The cream of the crop. Not that there are not better units like the Rangers or Special Forces.

But what makes the Infantry the best is the fact that these are the boys next door. Smoking in the boysroom. Mowing the lawn. Playing Halo. Drinking a beer. Looking at your daughter. Some simpletons. Others brilliant college students and graduates. Kids, most of them. Men, who do the dirtiest, hardest, most horrific job in the world. Who show up, day in and day out, despite the mind numbing boredom and horror. Because its their job. Because their brothers depend on them. It is the only job discription in the Army that states those few simple words that say so much..."Close with the enemy by fire and maneuver in order to destroy or capture him".

In my new MOS I only have to mention that I was in the Infantry in Iraq and the entire room will fall silent.

It is the only place that I know of left in the world that is far from being politically correct in the extreme. It is a haven of ultimate honesty, where the truth of a man is impossible to conceal, and there is no hiding it. It is a place where another man, even a complete asshole, will risk his life daily to save yours.It is the only place in the world I have been able to truly be myself. One of the few places in our society where woman cannot be legislated as equals.

Being in the Infantry was like being in a family. All the way from the young Captain who comanded us, to the youngest private fresh from training. We shared each others tragedies, and reveled in our triumphs.

Invisible to the general public. Loathed by the rest of the military.

Those magificant sons of bitches, God how I love them.

They played a significant role in shaping who I am today.

But alas I must move on. I have crossed over to the dark side....

She lay there…perhaps for several days. Bloated, her small torso swollen, hair matted concealing her young face. Her clothes were filthy.

A dog ate at one of limbs…

Support the Long War!

Check your tire pressure weekly!!!

"A recent study by the European division of tire maker Bridgestone found that 93.5 percent of cars in Europe have under-inflated tires, wasting some 2.14 billion gallons of high-priced, polluting fuel every year. Analysts believe that a similar percentage of North Americans are driving around on under-inflated tires as well."

Do your part, man!

How hard can this be??

The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."

Norman Thomas, 1936 presidential candidate on the Socialist ticket

Song For The Day

The Wait - The Pretenders

Three gun trucks driving through the darkness, in blackout drive, all lights off

Nightvision goggles on, peering through the black

Rocking Emenim on the MP3 players linked to the headsets

Ashamed, for praying to God to find an IED crew standing by the roadside....

Song For The Day

The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole

Tonight is Christmas eve and Ive just put the finishing touches on the piles of goodies under the tree in my living room. The fire is glowing in the background and outside my glass doors its 4 below zero with 3 inches of snow on the porch.

My children are upstairs sleeping, finaly tired from trying to stay awake long enough to catch a glimpse of Santa. They are suspicious of potential logistical complications with his rendevous with the world that I have not been able to explain away to their satisfaction.

My wife moves throughtout the house, on her own mission to finish the nights business before turning in.

My thoughts move to the soldiers overseas and I dimly recall the Christmas eve I spent in Iraq just two years ago.

So, if you are a soldier overseas serving your country tonight far away from your home and family I salute you.

If you are an Infantryman, standing outside the fatal funnel, the smell of burning trash and feces strong in your nose I say "Tip of the spear".

If you are back home and going to bed tonight with a knife under your pillow, or a handgun in the clutches of your fingers I say, Merry Christmas....

Song For The Day

From The Inside - Linkin Park

"There is no moment of safety in Iraq. Thats one of the things we are seeing in people when they come back-a feeling of an absolute lack of safety wherever the are."



Stories of vets who sleep with guns and knives and patrol the perimeters of their homes obsessively are as common as tales of war.



U.S News & World Report October 9, 2006



Its an old copy of the magazine already two years old. I dont realize that when it catches my eye and I pick it up to read it. Its been a long night at work and as I sit alone in the dingy breakroom I rest my feet as the whirlwind of activity flies just beyond the door. In a few minutes Ill be glad there is no one else with me.

I halfheartedly read the article, distant memories flicker by in my head, dimly glow then fade, quickly being crowded out by thoughts of my work. I turn one page then another. Annoyed I almost put it down.

Then I see it. Just one sentence. By surprise and completely without warning I am overtaken with emotion. My throat tightens and tears come to me eyes. The room begins spin. Embarrassed I quickly look around to make sure nobody sees. I am still alone. Shifting in my seat I become angry having been betrayed by my manhood.

And then the other anger comes. Ah yes the anger, my constant companion, insidiously eroding me from the inside.

I am not sure what to do. Call a friend, my wife perhaps. Its about three in the morning, far too late for that. The VA maybe, but what would I say? How could they understand? None of them do.

There is the guy at work out on the floor right now who served in the Ranger regiment, But we dont talk much.

It occurs me.

Iraq was very real and still right under the surface no matter how long Ive been home.


And I am very alone....

Song for the day

Bullet With Butterfly Wings (despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage)

Ok its been another year since I posted.

It seems harder and harder to come back here.

So update:
I still work though its harder and harder to maintain my prior profession, so Im looking at alternatives.

Im being treated at the VA for PTSD and MDD.

Constant anger has become an issue and I dont even know who Im angry at. Well everyone actually but intellectually that seems unreasonable so...

It seeps from the pours of my skin and permeates the air about me so that everyting I see is red and all I hear distorted, enraging me.

Ive long grown weary of it yet I cannot excise it and nothing I do (or dont do more importantly) seems to diminish it. It haunts me always...

And the urge to escape.

Publicly the country is supportive of returned veterans, mostly while they are deployed. Being home is another experience entirely and is more lonely than being gone ever was.

Being home is like being invisible.

My old brigade is spinning up to return to Iraq which brings complex feelings of guilt that Im not going with them and relief that Im not. Lets face it, Iraq is slowing down. If I go back I want to find and kill bad guys, not protect KBR pogues.

Anyway, Im blessed with a beautiful family that somehow puts up with all this craziness and reminds me that they love me despite myself.

And I keep putting one foot in front of the other....

The price of serving your country at war

16 months seperation from your family

Missed birthdays , parties, and holidays

Missing your sons first words

Losing touch with your job and occupation

Missing an entire school year of your children

Four cracked teeth

Guilt

Loneliness

Seperation

Alienation

Marginalization


Being with your Infantry unit while dirty, smelly, and armed to the teeth while POGs look at you with disgust, contempt, fear, and envy....

Priceless

People do not seem too shy about asking a veteran if they killed somebody in Iraq.

It almost always makes me wonder if they are truly prepared for the answer and the accompanying truth.

It makes me wonder if they really want to know what it may be like...

What it may be like to shoot a man in the back just for shining a flashlight at you through the darkness.

Or what it might feel like to kill children by running over them while they begged for food.

What it might feel like to look over your shoulder while in your garage at night lest the shadows come to life and pull you into the depths of wailing and gnashing of teeth...

It occurred to me at least in part why Ive been a little depressed lately...

July is the last month I can volunteer to go downrange with units deploying to Iraq. It was sort of my ace card that I held close in case everything went to shit. Now that window is closing, and Ill miss the surge.

Props to Senator Lieberman for actually having the balls to suggest American forces strike terrorist training camps deep in Iran.

At least one senator has the courage to speak of taking action in a war that can only be lost legislatively.

At least one senator won his seat by standing up for his principles rather than pandering to the masses like his cohorts.

Song For The Day

Time Marches On - Tracy Lawrence

Flag Etiquete

From the Respect section of the Flag Code...

Show no disrespect for the flag

The flag should not be dipped to any person or thing

Never display it upside down, except as a signal of dire distress

The flag should never touch anything beneath it, including the ground or water

The flag should never be carried flat or horizontally, but always aloft and free

Never use it as apparel, bedding or drapery. It also should never be festooned, drawn back or up in folds, but always allowed to fall free

The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged

Never place insiginia, letters, words, figures, designs, pictures or drawings of any nature upon it

Do not embroider it on cushions or handkerchiefs, nor print or otherwise impress on paper napkins, boxes or anything that will be thrown away

Advertising signs should not be affixed to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown

No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. However, a flag patch may be affixed to the uniform of military personnel, firemen, policemen and members of patriotic organizations

The flag represents a living country and is considered a living thing itself. Therefore, the lapel flag pin, being a replica, should be worn on the left lapel near the heart

When a flag becomes so worn that its no longer fit for display, it should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning. Most American Legion Posts regularly conduct dignified flag burning ceremonies, often on Flag Day. Many Cub Scout Packs, Boy Scout Troops and Girl Scout Troops retire flags regularly as well.

For more information go to Legion.org

My wife asked me the other day if I still thought about Iraq often. When dont I think of it, was my reply...

I once read a story about an Arab reporter, Lebonese I think, who found it difficult to not think of Iraq when not there on assignment. He had a beautiful wife and daughter, but after being home for awhile felt the pull of Iraq and returned.

Thats the awful cycle those who have been there can fall into.

I too long to return to Iraq yet dread it at the same time. There are times when I feel that perhaps I should have died there and then immediately feel guilty for feeling that way. I too have a beautiful wife and family.

My concern is if I have to return Ill be too far removed to ever come home.

Ive found that I dont relate much to men who havent served there especially in a combat capacity. Hopefully that will pass in time. Im not any better than they are, Ive just seen and done things they havent.

Lymes Update

Im feeling better now but felt terrible for about four days. Im still taking the course of antibiotics which apprently has helped quite a bit. The bullseye rash has all but dissapeared.

I found out today that four people from my unit got Lymes while in the bush including my company commander who is well liked in my unit. Thankfully our chain of command made sure all soldiers understood what Lymes is and what to look for.

I wish a speedy recovery to the old man and my fellow enlisted.

Thanks to all for the well wishes.

"Can I ask you about the war" he asked. Judging from his grizzled face he was in is late sixties. He had longish curly gray hair that continued right into a beard. He wore overalls and work boots like many of the rural types out here. His leathery hands were massive, his fingers thick and meaty from years of hard work. The sunlight that filtered through the trees glinted from his grey-blue eyes. I saw no malice.

"Sure" I replied, hoping the usual question wouldnt come.

He wanted to know if we were doing the right thing, if I could give him some insight having been there myself and seen it up close and intimate. Was the war worthwhile.

To be honest, I dont know that I know anymore than the guy who watches Iraq on TV. My war was distilled down to day to day existence, of routine and boredom, and occasional chaos and death.

To be truthful, it came down to the guy standing next to me. Thats what I ended up fighting for. My fellow teammates. It was the only thing that mattered.

And thats what I said...

Well it happened...

After living in the sticks for almost ten years with countless trips to the woods with my dogs (not to mention sleeping with my dogs), I contracted Lymes disease while on AT.

I have the red bite with bullseye rash, and flu like symptoms that are totaly kicking my butt. I can only recall feeling worse once in my life in terms of being ill.

And to make things worse Im right in the middle of packing up my house and family to move over the state line.

Im being treated with an antibiotic but holy cow this sucks.

In Iraq one thing I heard over and over again is that everyone is "Infantry first."

I have news for those of you with an MOS other than Infantry...

Unless you have attended an Infantry course and were awarded the 11B MOS you are NOT Infantry. And unless you are serving in an Infantry unit as an Infantryman you are not Infantry.

Just because you have had to return fire you does not qualify you as Infantry.

Sure, all MOS supposed to be able to shoot and possesse basic soldier skills but even if you are proficient at those they are not at the level of the Infantry. A day spent at the ranges helping you qualify with your M16 of M4 is enough to prove that. Most of you will struggle to shoot the minimum of 23 let alone expert. Some of you may shoot 27 to 31.

The Infantry CMF is the only one in the Army whose sole purpose is to close with and engage the enemy.

Song For The Day

Umbrella - Rihanna

I stood in the middle of the road my feet evenly planted shoulder width apart. The sun beat down on me from a piercing blue sky. My individual body army hung from my shoulders with all of its weight, a full combat load of ammunition and my weapon slung on my front. A total of over fifty pounds.

Sweat ran down my face behind by ballistic sunglasses. I took a sip from my camelback and shifted my shoulders. The wind blew waves through the hay growing in the huge expanse of fields to my front across the road.

Other soldiers were there as well similarly armed, pacing lazily at their posts. Three HMMWVs with automatic weapons supported us. Behind us loomed the nuclear plant we were charged to protect. I wanted to place a five ton truck across the road as a gate but we were told that this wasnt Iraq and that we werent allowed to do that. Shit.

The plant security would come by once in awhile to check on us and give us advice on our positions. This was taken with a grain of salt. Who had been to Iraq? Had they ever shot at anyone?

Had they ever killed anyone?

Had any of them been killed?

I think not...

A car approached from the road, turned and slowly moved toward us. Reflexes learned the hard way switched on. The little car was scrutinized carefully from the short distance. The driver had a mustache and was of slight build. "Fucking hadji" I heard from a team mate. Instantly the mood at our security checkpoint changed. Disdain hung in the air. "Search him" came the order. We werent supposed to do this, but we were going to anyway. This was our checkpoint and we were going to do it our way. Who would stop us?

The little car was pulled aside, the driver pulled out. Three men went over the car, another asked questions. ID was checked, then checked again.

It came to me at that moment. I remembered that I was a combat veteran as was everyone else there accept one. I recalled compatriots who had served in Vietnam. It occured to me that as a combat unit we were on our own here. If provoked capable of extreme violence. Able to take over towns and destroy them. Or free them.

I realized that it didnt matter who it was, Iraqi insurgent or American citizen. Fuck with us and die. I dont think my fellow Americans realize what their National Guard force has been turned into. Perhaps they shouldnt.

In the words of our company commander as he stopped by to check on his men...."Its us against the world"...

I am home for a day from AT to attend the funeral of a loved one.

Blue skies, Joe.

Annual Training

Currently with my unit for AT. Ive been in the field for six days without a shower, sleeping on the ground with ticks, ants, spiders, fleas, chiggers, bees, deer flies and mosquitos. Temperatures have hovered in the nineties.

My platoon has been running a range for the rest of the brigade to qualify with their weapons. Most of the support people, or POGs, have difficulty doing this while everyone in my squad repeatedly qaulifies expert (36 or above out of 40) all day long. Over and over.

We hear remarks from our superiors the POGs, especially the women, think that we Infantry are too harsh on them, too arrogant, and smelly. We find this hilarious. To the contrary we think of ourselves as supportive, going out of our way to coach on the range and give instruction they should have recieved and maintained as their responsibility to themselves, their units, and their country.

However, as we stand together and talk and laugh, I see them watch us. They know we are the ones...the ones whose primary function is to close with the enemy and engage them. The ones who regularly out shoot everyone. The ones they see shuffling down the roads in columns as they ride by in their vehicles. The ones who toil, labor and sweat from the tasks of combat. They know we are a combat experienced unit.

It sucks being in the Infantry. Its hot, dirty, uncomfortable work in an unforgiving environment. Most moments you hate being there.

Yet I love being in the Infantry. The pride one gets from being the best. The commaraderie that comes from sharing the same burdens that would break others.

In the Infantry, the best America has serves. They are the cream of the crop.

And I am grateful to have earned my place among them.

I see today that Cindy Sheehan is acting out for attention again.

She also states that America is no longer the country she "loves". With all due respect to her I invite her to move to another country of her choosing that she can love, perhaps spain.

While she is at it she can take Barbera Striesand, Alec Baldwin, and all the other elitests who promised theyd leave if George Bush made it to office.

Her assertion that America has descended into a fascist corporate wasteland is distorted by her grief. She would only need to review her modern history to know that is not true. Corporations of one hundered and fifty years ago were far, far worse here and in europe.

May her son rest in peace.

Its been a little while since Ive last posted so I thought Id better do something.

Im in a new unit now. When I got back to the States I was given time off like most Guard troops are, the required to attend a certain amount of drills as part of the reintegration process. Afterwards I was transferred to another Infantry unit without being asked if I wanted to stay in the one I was deployed with.

In any case, my new unit is a good one and trains hard. They also had deployed to Iraq for a year.

We typically report for drill Friday evening then move to the training area which in our case is a large military base in the middle of the state. We deploy into a patrol base in the woods and try to catch a couple hours of sleep before the next days training. For those of you with no Infantry background, a patrol base is a tactical emcampment with perimiter security etc.

Saturday morning we reveille at 0500, eat chow at 0530, then move to the training are at 0600. This unit focuses on MOUT or "military operations on urban terrain" or to put it in laymans terms.....house to house fighting.

Another unit is assigned as OPFOR, or opposition force, which works well because its better to have guys you dont know acting as the bad guys. For the next fifteen to sixteen hours we'll train in full "battle rattle" or battle gear ie body armor, full weapons load, weapons, water, food, and MILES gear. We are given missions to execute and each succeeding mission is built on the previous one. When darkness comes we break out the night vision goggles and run our missions with those.

Sometime around midnight MOUT training comes to an end, accountability of all weapons and sensitive items issued is performed, and then troops are released to get a few hours of sleep on the ground. Guard and radio duty is assigned.

Sunday morning reveille is the same time, meals are MREs, the patrol base is taken down, police call of the bivouac and ranges performed, then its wait for transportation back to our home station. After getting back to home station all weapons and gear is cleaned and returned to supply. Vehicles are maintenanced and APFT tests are conducted for those that are due of not performing to standards. Then we are released.

To give you an idea how intense training can be in a National Guard unit that trains one weekend a month....

This last drill weekend I broke two ribs, and the one before that I fractured my right elbow.

A good Memorial weekend to all of you. As you are enjoying a beer or two, perhaps a game of softball with friends and family...remember those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedoms.

Everyday...

People die in Iraq by the dozens.

They die in groups of ten, twenty, even eighty at a time. Many are tortured before being killed.

Their noses and ears cut off, their eyes gouged out, limbs bound.

Where are the candlelight vigils for them?

Where is the outrage?

The Sheeple

"Cowering under a desk and waiting for help to come is no longer an option" says a security anylist to Today, "American schools must teach their students to respond aggressively to attacks by people bent on mayhem."

Thats incredible, who among the leftwing liberal sheeple that indoctrinate our young in anti-nationalism and socialism will teach them to defend themselves, or go above and beyond to save others?

I want to know...

Another Hero...

Zach Petkewicz led his classmates in barricading the door saving all inside.

Well done...

Turns out there was a hero in Mondays senseless massacre at VA Tech.

Professor Liviu Liprescu, a Holocaust survivor and dissident to a brutal romanian regime, spent his last living moments holding a door closed with his body while shots were being fired through it, while instructing his students to jump out the windows and escape to safety.

I wonder if any of his students stayed to help him, or did they all run?

Blue skies, Professor.

Pentagon Rebuts Most Claims Of Problems At Veterans' Home

Go figure....

(re:Armed Forces Retirement Home, Northwest Washington).

ACU

The Commander in Chief as well as his professional clerk corps in the pentagon are sticking it to soldiers on the ground again.

In another typical cheapskate move to save a few dollars, the new Advanced Combat Uniforms that are issued to troops deploying to Iraq are being taken back from troops redeploying back home to be reissued to new troops arriving incountry. Imagine wearing a cheaply made piece of clothing that has already been sweated in for a year in 130 degree weather by men who take showers only every few days, not to mention ground into dirt, filth, spores, and feces. By the way, these uniforms have a servicable lifespan of six months.

This would be the equivilant of being forced to wear clothing donated from a Good Will store in a third world country, not the best equipment possible supplied to its men fighting and dying for the worlds richest and most powerful country.

Personally, I think they should be turned in before redeployment and burned.

Meanwhile rear echelon types continue to dine on lobster, crab, and baskin and robins inside the wire, while other die outside of it wearing used, worn out piece of crap uniforms.

Bear Grylls

My family and I are fans of this guy and get a kick out of his show Man vs Wild.

Anyway, if anyone can figure out what brand of clothes he is wearing ie his long sleeve shirts, pants, and foot gear give me a shout!

Bomb Control

A man in Massachusetts detonated a bomb inside an elevator killing himself and a girlfriend.

Looks like senator kennedy better inact some bomb control to get a handle on this, perhaps making sure there is no concealed carry bombs ever allowed either.

Speaking of senator kennedy, when is his fat, alcoholic, murdering heart going to give out?

Its not natural...

"We’re surrounded. That simplifies our problem of getting to these people and killing them" -

LTG Lewis "Chesty" Puller

Freedom Through Acceptance

We admitted we couldnt lick alcohol with our own remaining resources, and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a Higher Power (if only o ur AA group) could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to accept these facts fully, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun.

For most of us, this pair of acceptances had required a lot of exertion to achieve. Our whole treasured philosphy of self-sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been done with sheer will power: it came instead as the result of developing the willingness to accept these new facts of living.

We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we began to be free.

As Bill Sees It

p 109

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth...

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

R. Frost

Well, I had abdominal surgery a few days ago which is a setback insofar as I cannot workout for three weeks (bummer).

On the upside, my new unit will be going to the state MOUT training site for three days and two nights of gunfire, sleep deprivation, and fatigue. We wont be pulling billets but sleeping in the buildings we take.

Good times...

Army Secretary Resigns...

Another fall guy has taken a bullet for a much wider systemic problem evidenced by the latest revelations at Walter Reed.

The POTUS has reacted by forming another "bipartisan" panel to determine if the problem exists at other Army hospitals. It seems the Commander in Chief has developed a nasty habit of reacting rather then creating and leading. Not a good way to command in my not so humble opinion.

This latest problem is still more evidence of the large footprint the professional clerk corps that runs the mightiest fighting machine that has ever existed in the history of man.

Unfortunately, that footprint has been inserted up the ass of the fighting component for so long that is has grown adhesions. Its a tribute to the American Fighting Soldier that anything at all gets done in times of peace as well as war.

"When I get out of bed early in the morning I sometimes have to stop and remind myself that there is still something I can contribute today, that I can still make a difference. "

-Me

Speaking of Vietnam Veterans

I dont know how the did it...

I can only imagine how hard it must have been to come home as individuals fresh off a plane with the mud of vietnam still on their boots, only to be discharged and sent on their way to fade into society as best they could.

I got to sit in Kuwait for two weeks with my unit just chilling out, then deMOB.

I even got my parade (a mind blower and a story all unto itself).

I got to talk about Iraq for the most part. Most civilians respect soldiers for their service. Nobody spit on me.

I cant imagine having to hide my service, grow my hair out and act like it never happened.

Its never far from my thoughts though. Sitting with my lovely wife, playing with my children, while at work...its only a dsitraction away.

Whereever I go or whatever I do Iraq is there, just underneath the surface.

I have friends from my unit that are going back, and I dont blame them.

Vietnam veterans I have met that work with veterans have a saying, "Never again" meaning they wont allow the way they were treated to happen to us. They are there for us.

They know what its like to be alone.

They know whats its like to live with the inescapable.

To be haunted.

Wall of Shame

We'll just add the latest to the list.

Now that the treatment of veterans at Walter Reed hospital is in the main stream media new Sec Def Gates has begun an investigation of the chain of command there.

The reality is this is just damage control until it blows over and the short term memories of the general population are distracted by the latest rock star who is out of control.

Veterans are always getting screwed over as vietnam vets can attest.

Shame on this administration for allowing it. Of course, when the POTUS wanted to lower soldier pay in order to keep costs down on the war that should have been a sign.

The real shocker is that other soldiers are a part of this ie doctors at Walter Reed.

More shameful behavior from the professional clerk corps cultivated from the 80s and 90s.

Google the following...

At Mologne House, a struggle to recover

War survivors wrestle with military bureaucracy, personal demons

By Anne Hull and Dana Priest
Washington Post

Typical government screwing those who gave so much. Typical Bush administration cheapskates.

"Even among the gazebos and tranquility of the Walter Reed campus in upper Northwest Washington, manhole covers are sidestepped for fear of bombs and rooftops are scanned for snipers"(At Mologne House a struggle to recover, Washingtom Post).

This is me. No I am not at Walter Reed thank God, but I cannot step on manhole covers, and I scan rooftops all the time especially those of parking structures. I think that is because they remind me most of the concrete buildings in Iraq.

In a way, Im glad its not just me. I thought I was going crazy. I told me wife that I do this even when I know better but I dont think she can appreciate it. She probably prays that Im not crazy.

Hell yes Colts!

Petraeus guys

The incoming General who is taking over in Iraq will be bringing in a group of military intellectuals known as "The Petraeus Guys." These are a group of colonels who almost all hold phDs as well as their extensive military training.

Petraeus himself is impressive (you can search this yourself) as well as having a respected reputation among us lower ranking soldiers.

He is kown to be a marathon runner, Ranger, and able to crank out 75 pushups in less than one minute.

Among those he has brought together to advise him is Lt. Col. Douglas A. Ollivant who has publicly scorned the military for using large bases in Iraq and instead wants the army to live in smaller patrol bases living directly with Iraqis.

If you recall from reading my blog that I proposed this idea many months ago and went even further by sugesting that we go back to wearing plain olive drab uniforms as opposed to the fancy digital "pajamas" that we wear now.

Search Colonel Ollivant's essay "Producing Victory: Rethinking Conventional Forces in COIN Operations."

Also, search Lt. Col. David Kilcullen's essay "Twenty-eight Articles: Fundamentals of Company-Level Counterinsurgency."

This latest develpment is refreshing, and is a much needed, if not belated break from the administrative, compound mentality of the professional clerk corps that was cultivated from the Carter years onward, and has for the most part ruined our chances of victory in Iraq.

This last week has been tough.

A lot of conflicting and powerful emotions.

With the surge starting Ive been having constant thoughts of returning to Iraq. Its hard to think of anything other than getting back and fighting.

Conflicting with that is the guilt associated with wanting to return and what that might do to my family.

Its hard to convey what it feels like to want to return to a place that is so horrible and not where you are from or even belong.

And at the same time what it feels to come home and feel that you no longer belong there either.

Its like being stuck between to worlds, at one moment being so relevant and on the forefront of so many peoples thoughts and prayers...the next moment being outdated, a momento of an event many would like to put in the past.

Irrelevant.

One nations baggage, another's most hated.